So yesterday, I went for my 4th session with Dr Kriegler (Susanne).
I was in a foul mood when I arrived. I was annoyed with myself over Wesley, a little hungover, stressed from the traffic, and basically in a bad mood.
We spent a lot of time on relationships – past a present. I was leading up to my current attempt with JL. It really is heading for another level, and I was sitting in a state of fear that I was going to fuck it up, and end up hurting him. At this point I was even considering just ending it now, and I needed advice. We went through Gail; Nikki; Anna; Neville; Vincent….
So I am not going to end it with JL. Made the decision to let it run while I go through the therapy and see where it goes from there. The reality is, is that it is running a very relaxed course. There is no talk of rushing into to something like moving in together and that kind of thing. There is no unnecessary jealousy. There is no intense focus on sex. We don’t sms each other every ten minutes. It is not the intense stuff that gay relationships are often made of. He sms’ed me this morning telling me he can get a new place closer to his work, so he is going to look at it today. This is a good sign for me. There is ambition, independance.
Then Susanne and I completed the new Blueprint I am working towards. I aid to her, that it is just becoming a lot of ‘words’, we need to move onto the meat and potatoes stuff soon. She of course agreed, its just that we had spent so much time on other stuff, that we went to far into the second hour to have time to start the hypnosis. So we went through what I should expect during the next phase of the process.
The theory is that she will be using painful emotions during hypnosis to face the issues and ‘rewire’ the brain’s operating system. Sounds both scary and exciting. So next Wednesday, I am in the chair. Yay!
Oh and here are the blueprints:
OLD
http://salvo1279.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/blueprint_old.jpg
NEW
http://salvo1279.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/blueprint_new.jpg
