I skipped out blogging session 6 for reasons I cannot really fathom, but here it is basically:
We started off discussing the dreams in my previous post. She was most excited about the dream involving my entire tooth loss. Basically it is an indication that my mind has accepted change, and change was afoot. All three dreams involved my mother, and all involved only myself and the women in my life.
One of the essentials in the blueprint process highlighted that my biological mother is and was not ideal. It is basically an indication that the mind is processing the change from considering my biological mother my major influence, and slowly switching to the divine mother Susan was really excited about this too.
In the chair this session, we focused on meditation, using Vipassanā, or introspection. The technique she uses requires that one learns how to focus on external and internal ‘objects’ such as the sound of the clock, the birds outside, the sound of ones own breathing – that kind of thing. It is a technique she uses specifically to draw attention away from the mind’s incessant voice which detracts from ones higher self. It is a technique I am focusing on, as I still see the internal voice as being one of my major obstacles to the healing process.
At one point, i was asked to visualise the emotion of fear and stress within me. It became a very clear image of an inverted triangle within my chest. It is a yellowish diseased colour, and is covered in festering sores. Gross I know – but yeah, that’s how I perceive it.
Another exercise we did was the Secret Garden, and it is something I can recommend to anyone wanting to gain something extra out of meditation.
I was prompted to imagine my secret garden – a place that is the perfect garden that I would be able to escape to to relax and meditate. Every detail was prompted – plants, temperature, weather, shade, sunlight, benches, flowers, paving etc. Once established in my mind, I was prompted to explore and find the thing that wasn’t right – something perhaps ugly and out of place. For me, it was the grass – there was no grass, it was as if there wasn’t enough watering done, and the grass had died, which was just completely out of synch with the rest of this beautiful place. Once I had found the flaw, I was prompted to summons help in whatever form, to fix the problem. Susan suggested angels, because I have a special affinity to any image that contains angels – male angels. I tried, but unexpectedly, Disney’s Peter Pan arrived. He alighted in my garden and simply assured me that he would look after the grass. Without any further ado, he produced a watering can, and began spreading fairy dust around over the sand. Lush green soft grass began to sprout, and my garden was becoming the perfect place that I imagined.
The next step, was to imagine a bubble surrounding the scene, like placing the garden and the helper into one of those little snow globe things that you get at tourist shops. Then to imagine breathing the whole scen into the body, deep into the area just above the solar plexus. Once there, the bubble is prompted to explode into millions of tiny replica’s, and spread around the rest of the body.
It was an amazing experience, and a technique I try to replicate before sleeping.
I left in a feel good mode, not sure whether I had benefited from the session. However, the days that followed saw intense feelings of well-being coming through during the oddest times of the day – on the loo, making dinner, writing e-mails.
And there were dreams again of course:
The Museum
I am attending a tour of a museum of some sort, possible as part of a school outing. The lady is going through a display of war heroes, pointing out various individuals with a long pointy stick.
The ‘individuals’ are like mounted trophies. She starts from the oldest. Each trophy seems to be the head and shoulders of the actual person, preserved by taxidermy. Some are quite gross, having being removed from the battle field, and not altogether there.
Each individual is from a different war, starting from the Great Civil War (not sure what or when that was lol). He is Lancelot Charles Henry Hope the 1st – I realise it is my great grandfather (This is my real grandfathers name). Then there is the second and the third. (My real grandfather was a war hero of sorts, having being a decorated RAF pilot).
She moved down generations and gave some explanation about each. I wasn’t really listening, because I suddenly realized that I was also on display… and three generations after me. From this point, I was just totally distracted, and never really heard anything she was saying by the time she got to me, or my future generations
The Time Machine
I discover a way to bounce into the past, as if I am on a swing, and can swing back and forth. I think I am dreaming, because it is impossible to do that right?
Everytime I go into the past, I see my high school, but don’t recognize who these people are. Maybe not even my past, and not even sure what the time frame is that I am entering. As an experiment, I draw a picture of a face on a piece of paper, and when I bounce through, I let it float to the ground. (I am always elevated above).
Back in the present, I am at a party, lots of people I don’t know. Some guy is looking at me weirdly. I think he is trying to pick me up, so I make eye contact a few times. He is drinking on his own, and eventually gets up and walk over to me. He reaches in his pocket, and takes out the picture that I drew, it is old and faded. He shoves it in my face, and has this serious aggressive look about him. And he just says “I KNOW”.
I wake up sweating. Real horror movie stuff.
